The Ignored Element of a Healthy Culture
While many struggle to define what culture is, I clearly define it in three ways: What is expected, what will or will not be tolerated and how we treat one another. I constantly state that every organization has a culture including every home. It doesn’t matter how many people make up a family or business. If there are two or more people, a culture exists.

I also state constantly that a culture isn’t built, but rather it grows. Keep in mind, you don’t need to pay any attention to it for the culture to grow. It is going to grow regardless of effort or lack of effort on our part.
Now think about your family. Every parent has expectations for their children. Most parents have a list, even if it isn’t a formal list, of things they will or will not tolerate from their children. This is what allows the culture to grow in your home. But there is a third element that is often lacking or treated in an extremely arbitrary way and that’s how we treat one another. For many, this is not planned or strategic, but rather emotional. Far too few leaders have a strong code for how people will be treated. Employees, customers, third-party vendors, and others.
It is my belief that leaders often want this element of their culture to be flexible because it gives them a sense of control. As the leader, I get to dictate how I treat others based on how they behave. If they are loyal, compliant, or behave according to expectations I will treat them well.
But, if they are difficult, subpar, immature, I will treat them poorly. I am not suggesting that leaders turn a blind eye to poor performance or behavior. In fact, that should be clearly addressed in the expectations and will or will not be tolerated. What I am suggesting is that a healthy culture treats everyone with respect and dignity.
I can terminate your employment and still treat you with respect and dignity. I might have to terminate someone because they clearly failed to meet expectations or clearly acted in a way that cannot be tolerated. But how I treat the team should never be emotionally charged. Great cultures hold themselves to a standard for how everyone will be treated. When we work at one of these companies or are the customer at one of them, we can feel the difference. The kindness, patience, and attention to detail stands out.
It is impossible to grow a healthy, strong culture without giving this element a lot of attention. Just as much as the expectations and what will or will not be tolerated. The new hire on-boarding and orientation should spend a lot of time on this element, but unfortunately for many it is all about the first two because the emphasis is on how to not get fired as opposed to how to excel and thrive. When leaders are focusing on growing trust, respect, new skills, honesty, dependability, and predictability they are growing a culture that attracts better candidates and more customers.
All three elements of a culture are equally important. Don’t shortchange the third element. You will have less chaos, less harmful conversations (gossip), less employee turnover and fewer customer complaints. Ignore this element and chaos will become your middle name. Don’t believe me? Look at any family where there is no standard in place for how the family treats one another.
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